Tuesday, December 10, 2013

interview 4

Macedoniahttp://cdncache1-a.akamaihd.net/items/it/img/arrow-10x10.png is a country in the center of Balkan peninsula in Southeast of Europe. The Republic ofMacedoniahttp://cdncache1-a.akamaihd.net/items/it/img/arrow-10x10.png is bordered from northwest by Kosovo, Serbia from the north, Bulgaria from the east, Greece from the south, and Albania from the west. Most Macedonia are mountains and hills and the highest mountain there is Corbett which rises until 2,751m on the western border of the country, and Vardar river is the largest in Macedonia which  crosses  the country from the north west highlands to the south. The system of the government is Parliamentary republic and the president name is Gjorge Ivanov.  The religion there is 64.7% Christianity, 33.3% Islam, and 0.3% other. The Area of Macedonia is 25,713 Km2, 1.9% of it is water, and the Capital city of Macedonia is Skopje. The population in 2011 is 2,058,539 people, and the main  language is Macedonian, but also they speak Albanian, Turkish, Roma, and Serbian. The climate is  continental, so the weather there is colder and snowing in the winter and warm in the summer in the mountain valleys and it's still coldhttp://cdncache1-a.akamaihd.net/items/it/img/arrow-10x10.png in the highlands. The tourism is an important part of the economy of Macedonia, and the natural and cultural areas make Macedonia attractive for the tourists and visitors. Macedonia has around 700,000 tourists each year. Most of the tourists visit the town called Ohrid because of its lake. The Ohrid lake is UNESCO protected because it is one of the cleanest lake on the Balkan peninsula and there are certain kind of fish called "pastramka" . Other popular town if Krushevo, it is the place where the first republic of Macedoniahttp://cdncache1-a.akamaihd.net/items/it/img/arrow-10x10.png was created. The place is of historical importance to Macedonians and they are very proud of their history. The capital Skopje also attracts a lot of tourists, especially now because of the 2014 project implemented by the government. There are a lot of now monuments and buildings which makes the city attractive place for people to see. Macedonia is agricultural country, most of their economy boost comes from grapes and various vegetables.

I asked my Third interviewer if she know anyone from her country to make my last interview and she asked one of her friends and told me yeah she can do it. i called  Arica and make up time to meet in the library. we meet in the cafe in the first floor.
Me: how are you and thank you for your coming. 
she: I am good what about you.  
Me: I am good
Me: would you like to start the interview.
she: said sure.
  

Me:  What are your home country’s major religions?
She: The major religions in Macedonia are Orthodox Christianity and Muslim.
Me: Since you are from Macedonia How do you communicate with each other in your home country?
She: The language that we speak in Macedonia is Macedonian
Me: how usually you communicated your family and friends back home?
She: We communicate via Skype, Facebook and other internet communications tools. Also sometimes on the telephone and text messaging.
Me: What is the clothing style for men and women?
She: Like every country we have traditional clothes but they are only for special occasions. The style in Macedonia is the same as the other countries in Europe and America.
Me: how many language do you study in the school there?
She: Since primary school we start studying English and French, but nowadays the schools included German too.
Me: so how many language do you speak?
She: I natively speak Macedonian but I can also speak and understand Serbian, Chroatian, Bosnian, Bulgarian and English.
Me: What is the popular food there?
She: We have a lot of traditional foods, everything is homemade. Let's say most of the traditional foods are made with potatoes, some meat, rice, and so on.
Me: so what is your favorite dish?
She: I don’t have a particular food that is my favorite, there are some that I eat the most like macaroni and chicken, potatos and beef, pepers filled up with rice and so on.
Me: How has your experience here helped you interpret and respect cultural differences?
She: America is a good example that has different cultures and religions. It is a good experience for me because in Macedonia we don’t have culture mix. Here, you can educate yourself on the differences between the cultures, religions and food. I would say America has helped me a lot not only to see the differences and to respect the cultures. And I’m looking forward to meet people.
Me: How long have you been in the United States?
She: I’ve been only five months in USA.
Me: Have you been able to visit any other parts of the United States?
She: Yes I’ve been able to travel only in two states like Minnesota and Ohio.
Me: like Which cities?
She:Columbus in Ohio, and Grand Marais in Minnesota
Me: what Was the reason to go there?
She:  visiting old friends before I start school.
Me: That nice of you.
She: thanks
Me: have you been in any country beside US?
Yes I’ve been in Turkey and in every country on the Balkan peninsula like Croatia, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Bulgaria, Serbia, and Greece.
Me: What influenced you to come to the United States? Especially, Saint Cloud State?
She: I’ve always wanted to travel , experience new things, see the differences between the countries. Also I came here for the education, America has more advanced education system . There are a lot of jobs opportunities and Saint Cloud is cheaper than other school like UFM.
Me: Do you have any questions for me? I have asked so many of you!
She: no thank you
Me: Thank you for helping me in this class.
She: thank you if you need any help let me know.
Me: sure I am Glad to meet you.
She: glad to meet you too.
Me: thank you and have a great night bye .

She: you too bye 

I was more Comfortable to do the interview because i did few before so i am kind of bold now to ask people and make conversations. I feel this my best interview i have done.  

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

interview 3


Macedonia is a country in the center of Balkan peninsula in Southeast of Europe. The Republic of Macedonia is bordered from northwest by Kosovo, Serbia from the north, Bulgaria from the east, Greece from the south, and Albania from the west. Most Macedonia are mountains and hills and the highest mountain there is Corbett which rises until 2,751m on the western border of the country, and Vardar river is the largest in Macedonia which  crosses  the country from the north west highlands to the south. The system of the government is Parliamentary republic and the president name is Gjorge Ivanov.  The religion there is 64.7% Christianity, 33.3% Islam, and 0.3% other. The Area of Macedonia is 25,713 Km2, 1.9% of it is water, and the Capital city of Macedonia is Skopje. The population in 2011 is 2,058,539 people, and the main  language is Macedonian, but also they speak Albanian, Turkish, Roma, and Serbian. The climate is  continental, so the weather there is colder and snowing in the winter and warm in the summer in the mountain valleys and it's still cold in the highlands. The tourism is an important part of the economy of Macedonia, and the natural and cultural areas make Macedonia attractive for the tourists and visitors. Macedonia has around 700,000 tourists each year. Most of the tourists visit the town called Ohrid because of its lake. The Ohrid lake is UNESCO protected because it is one of the cleanest lake on the Balkan peninsula and there are certain kind of fish called "pastramka" . Other popular town if Krushevo, it is the place where the first republic of Macedonia was created. The place is of historical importance to Macedonians and they are very proud of their history. The capital Skopje also attracts a lot of tourists, especially now because of the 2014 project implemented by the government. There are a lot of now monuments and buildings which makes the city attractive place for people to see. Macedonia is agricultural country, most of their economy boost comes from grapes and various vegetables.

I met a Macedonian girl at the school in Atwood and I told her I have to interview Macedonian people if you would to help me I will appreciate it she said sure.
we met at the library on the second floor and we start our conversation

me: how are you and thank you for your coming.
she: I am doing well how are you
me: I am good
me: would you like to start the interview.
she: said absolutely.


Me: What are your home country’s major religions?

her: My country’s major religion is Orthodox Christianity. The other are catholic and Muslim, but the percentage is well below 10%.

Me: Since you are from Macedonia How do you communicate with each other in your home country?

her: I contact them Every day via Viber or Skype.

Me: What is the clothing style for men and women?

her: It is quite casual and modern.

Me: how many language do you study in the school there?

her: We study English as a foreign language since first grade in elementary school and for sure Macedonian  but we get a choice of another foreign language from third or fifth grade depending on a school. And the language depends on the school but the most usual ones are French and Serbian (some would offer Spanish and Italian)

Me: so how many language do you speak?

her: I speak English fluently and have studied French for 4 years in high school beside the Macedonian.
Me: What is the popular food there?

her: Mostly meat – pork, barbeque is very popular. Also cabbage rolls with ground beef, a dish we call “Sarma” that many consider very typical for us. Also musaka and stuffed peppers.
Me: so what is your favorite dish?

her: Different kinds of barbeque and peppers like Kabab

Me: How has your experience here helped you interpret and respect cultural differences?

her: In many ways, especially by getting used to different cultures and realizing that we are all similar in a way. I am regularly attending and as of this semester organizing all the Cultural Cafes on campus.

Me: How long have you been in the United States?

her: I have been here for one and a half year.

Me: Have you been able to visit any other parts of the United States?

her: Yes I travelled to California, Chicago, New York.

Me: What is your must enjoyable trip of them?

her: it was New York because I know many people there so I had fun. 

Me: have you been in any country beside US?

her: I have visited a couple of European countries but never lived in any of them.

Me: What influenced you to come to the United States? Especially, Saint Cloud State?

her: A great scholarship opportunity. I was sponsored to come here and was placed to SCSU, didn’t choose.
Me: Do you have any questions for me? I have asked so many of you!
her: no thanks
 
Me: ok I really thank you so much for your coming and for this wonderful interview .
also thank you for your time. 
her: you are more than welcome.
 
I think I did my best in this interview and I like it . 

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Rate interview



here is the three top student


Al-Waaly, Moheemed
Alabbas, Ahmed A
Mattson, Valerie

here is my link

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

interview 2


Macedonia is a country in the center of Balkan peninsula in Southeast of Europe. The Republic of Macedonia is bordered from northwest by Kosovo, Serbia from the north, Bulgaria from the east, Greece from the south, and Albania from the west. Most Macedonia are mountains and hills and the highest mountain there is Corbett which rises until 2,751m on the western border of the country, and Vardar river is the largest in Macedonia which  crosses  the country from the north west highlands to the south. The system of the government is Parliamentary republic and the president name is Gjorge Ivanov.  The religion there is 64.7% Christianity, 33.3% Islam, and 0.3% other. The Area of Macedonia is 25,713 Km2, 1.9% of it is water, and the Capital city of Macedonia is Skopje. The population in 2011 is 2,058,539 people, and the main  language is Macedonian, but also they speak Albanian, Turkish, Roma, and Serbian. The climate is  continental, so the weather there is colder and snowing in the winter and warm in the summer in the mountain valleys and it's still cold in the highlands. The tourism is an important part of the economy of Macedonia, and the natural and cultural areas make Macedonia attractive for the tourists and visitors. Macedonia has around 700,000 tourists each year. Most of the tourists visit the town called Ohrid because of its lake. The Ohrid lake is UNESCO protected because it is one of the cleanest lake on the Balkan peninsula and there are certain kind of fish called "pastramka" . Other popular town if Krushevo, it is the place where the first republic of Macedonia was created. The place is of historical importance to Macedonians and they are very proud of their history. The capital Skopje also attracts a lot of tourists, especially now because of the 2014 project implemented by the government. There are a lot of now monuments and buildings which makes the city attractive place for people to see. Macedonia is agricultural country, most of their economy boost comes from grapes and various vegetables.


I asked my friend Nadia about I want to meet anyone from her country.
she called her one of her friends her name is Kristina. we planned for the meeting in a Café ship in the downtown on Tuesday 10/29/2013

Hello Kristina thank you for coming and helping me in my English class.

me :actually I have few questions I would to feel free if you don’t like to answer any of them, and ask me to go to the next question.   

would you like to start the interview

she: Yeah sure.

me: What are your home country’s major religions?

she:My home country is Macedonia and the mean religion is Christianity.

me: Since you are from Macedonia How do you communicate with each other in your home country?

She: There are many ways and the easier is by cell phone, calling or texting. also we communicate  in Facebook, Skype, Tango, and Facetime.

me: how usually you communicated your family and friends back home?

she: by the Skype, and some time my Father call me at my American number.

me: What is the clothing style for men and women?

she: we wear a normal clothes jeans and t-shirt, or dress for celebration or important parties.

me: how many language do you study in the school there?

she: we study English, French, Macedonian, and Latino.

so how many language do you speak?

she: I speak Macedonian, English, French, Latino, and Spanish.

me: wow that cool.

me: What is the popular food there?

she: there are many dishes but the most popular are Mousaka, Ajvar, Kebap, Burek,

me: can you tell me how you can make one of them?

she: yeah sure the Mousaka is meat and prefer the beef with potato and tomato souse. you need to leave it in the oven around an hour.

 me:How has your experience here helped you interpret and respect cultural differences?

she:Meeting new people and getting to learn new things specially when I work in the restaurant I met many people from many different nationality. So I learned a lot about people cultures.  

me:How long have you been in the United States?

She: around two years.

me: Have you been able to visit any other parts of the United States?

she: I have been in Chicago and I worked there in many different jobs. after that I left to Duluth around a year working in a restaurant as a waiter.   

me: have you been in any country beside US?

she: I went to Turkey when I was 21 and I worked there for six months and I stayed with my cousins in Istanbul and it was my wonderful time

me: What influenced you to come to the United States? Especially, Saint Cloud State?

she: I came to Saint Cloud because my best friend studies at SCSU, so I decided to start my master degree in biochemistry next spring.   

me: So what are you doing right now in St.Cloud?

she: I work now in a hairdressing saloon. 

me: Do you have any questions for me? I have asked so many of you!

She: yeah how many language do you speak?

me: I speak Arabic my own language and English.

why you came to study in SCSU?

me: I have my cousin here so he recommend it for me

she: what is your major and why you chased it?

me: My major is Mechanical Engineering and I chose it because I like mechanical stuff so I think I will do well on it.

She: oh that sound great.

me: Kristina  I really appreciate your help and nice to meet you.

she: you are more than welcome and nice to meet you too.


I really like this interview more than my first one because it with someone new person to me.
it was more ceruse than my first. I feel I did well on it. 

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

interview rate

i think the best students made the interview are Sainju, Jasmin, Alabbas, Ahmed A, Negussie, Girum, and ,Mattson, Valerie M.

interview 1


Macedonia is a country in the center of Balkan peninsula in Southeast of Europe. The Republic of Macedonia is bordered from northwest by Kosovo, Serbia from the north, Bulgaria from the east, Greece from the south, and Albania from the west. Most Macedonia are mountains and hills and the highest mountain there is Corbett which rises until 2,751m on the western border of the country, and Vardar river is the largest in Macedonia which is cross the country from the north west highlands to the south. The system of the government is Parliamentary republic and the president name is Gjorge Ivanov.  The religion there is 64.7% Christianity, 33.3% Islam, and 0.3% other. The Area of Macedonia is 25,713 Km2, 1.9% of it is water, and the Capital city of Macedonia is Skopje. The population in 2011 is 2,058,539 people, and the mine language is Macedonian, but also they speak Albanian, Turkish, Roma, Serbian, and Aromanian. The weather there is colder and snowing in the winter and warm in the summer in the mountain valleys and it's still cold in the highlands. The tourism is an important part of the economy of Macedonia, and the natural and cultural areas make Macedonia attractive for the tourists and visitors. Macedonia has around 700,000 tourists each year.
 
i made the interview with Nadia. this interview was my first interview and I like it also I enjoy it with my friend Nadia and learn alot about her and her life exciperince in US. It was intresting to know about Nadia more than i knew and about her culutre. what surprise me is her culture is kind of similar to the Turkish culture.

me: How do you communicate with each other in your home country?
Nadia:   They communicate with each other Though the Skype, Yahoo Massinger, MSN, and ell phone.
me: What is the clothing style for men and women?
Nadia:   It’s very causal for women and men, also they have durational clothes but nobody wear those because it is too old when the Ottoman Empire there. Now the people wear the causal modern as the people wear in the US.
me: How are women and men treated differently?
Nadia:      I don’t think women and men treated differently I mean not in a major way there is different between men and women in my opinion. For example for some jobs more manly for example concretion work women don’t do usually concretion work and I don’t know about other jobs but I don’t think there like a major different between men and women. there is a different but is not that big different between them.  I feel like women  have more traditional roles of their like take care of the house as cook, clean and take care of the family. But with younger generation it’s changing little bit and the becoming more individual not everybody know how to cook and not everyone expect to clean it’s independent to which generation.
 me:How has your experience here helped you interpret and respect cultural differences?
Nadia:     I have meet people from different countries and I lived with people from none different countries so that opinion up my mind a lot and I learn a lot from those people and their culture and countries. Also I learn when I talk to different people what is expectable and what isn’t, and actually I like to learn different cultures in my own.   
 me: Do you enjoy speaking with other exchange students?
Nadia:     yeah I do that on daily basis.
me:How long have you been in the United States?
Nadia:     for almost 10 years
me:.Have you been able to visit any other parts of the United States?
Nadia:      I have been too many places like New York, Chicago, Montana, South Dakota , North Dakota, Las Vegas, Arizona with my roommates.
me:What are your home country’s major religions?
Nadia:     My home Country is Macedonia and the religions are 70% Christianity  and 30% Islam.
me:What influenced you to come to the United States? Especially, Saint Cloud State?
Nadia::     when I always think to come to the United States, so when I was very young I met my American house family they came to Macedonia and they my connection to come to the US. so I have been here before I started the college, and how I end up to SCSU is my first roommate Echo .she is from Nepal and she is the one who point out the SCSU while we were in The UFM and we transfer together
me: Do you have any questions for me? I have asked so many of you!
Nadia:: yeah, what do you like in St.cloud?

me: I like St.cloud because I live with my brother and cousins who I was with every day in my country. so we can do everything and enjoy our time together as usual.    


 

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

interviewee

Group of Jaffer, Rakan Alolayani, Yu Fan


Challenges:

1. Could not understand their own culture very clear


2. You surprise from something is normal in your culture, but it’s bad thing in others.


3. To get what people say to you because they have different accent.


4. I cannot speak to few people because they didn’t speak the language which I speak and I couldn’t learn about people culture.


5. Some people didn’t accept to talk with you and ignored you.


6. You have to be careful while you ask about religion questions.



Benefits:


1-To get a strong knowledge about cultures and tradition.


2- Know new details about people religions.


3-Make new friends.


4- How people live in others countries and what they wear of clothes.


5-Learn basic words in others languages and that help you when you travel.


6-Get good skills in the way to talk with people.

We choose this one because its has the most important challenges and benefits that face interviewers while they are in the interviewing.

Interviewee


Actually, I would like to know about many different things. Let me  tell about a few of them:

 Firstly, I love to learn about how people live in the country and what their religions, because I have to respect them and their religions. I choose this first because I don’t like to pass the red line by mistake and they think of me in bad way.

Secondly I love to know how many languages they speak and what their first language is.  Also   I am planning to learn about their culture and their customs and traditions.

 Thirdly, I want to know what the kinds of the food in their country, and I would love to learn how to kame few poplars kinds of their dishes.

Finally, I am going to ask about their life in the country such as what people wear there, how the level of education, and how is the economy there.  

 

Could you give an idea about your culture and your customs and traditions?

How is the level of education in your country?

Do you think in your country have develop education as US, KU? Why or why not?

What their poplar dishes and the kinds of food?

What are men and women wear of clothes?

What are the difference between the living in towns and the cities in your country?

What is your advice to me if I want open new business in your country or should I open it in other country?

 

The Old Man and the sea


            This paper is an article review from the novel “The Old Man and the sea”, and is written by Ernest Hemingway. This is a talk between the boy and the aging fisherman about going out sailing.
            Manolin is the boy, and the fisherman is named Santiago. The boy was not allowed by his parents to go fishing with the old fisherman, as the old fisherman was considered unlucky. Still the boy decided to go sailing with the old man. They had conversation that evening, and were talking about the eyes of the successful fishermen. The boy exclaimed that though going deep into the fishing dries the eyes blind, but the eyes of the old man was perfectly fine at such old age. The old fisherman told the boy that the very next day he will be sailing far deep into the Gulf Stream, and will be catching a large marlin, that will ultimately remove the tag of unluckiness over from the old man.

            They both then picked up the fishing gear from the boat, with old man carrying the mast on his shoulder, and boy carrying the wooden box, the gaff and harpoon. It was obvious that no one would steal the fishing gear from the old man, but still they decided to carry fishing gear to the old man’s shack, especially the gaff and a harpoon. Now begins the description of the old wooden house of the old fishermen, which was made up of tough bud shields of royal palm called guano. The shack was so small in size that the mast almost covered the entire room of the shack. The house was furnished barely with a bed, a table, a chair and a dirty place for cooking with charcoal.

This reflected that the old man only cared the least about the house. On one of the guano wall, hang two sacred pictures, that is, of the Heart of Jesus and of the Virgin of Cobre. The old man had taken down the picture of his wife that once hung over the same place, as seeing the picture made him feel lonely. The only reason for persuading life was the ambitious and determination of the old man towards catching the most largest and violent fish (Valenti, 10-11). Catching a fish which the old man referred to as brother requires strength, suffering and pain. Suffering and pain is well reflected by the description of the wrenched house of the old man (Shmoop, 10-11).          
 
Therefore, the article has been summarized, considering all the featured elements of the novel. In addition, the novel has been linked with other authentic sources as well. This novel reflects enthusiasm and strength.     
 

Shmoop. The Old Man and the Sea: Shmoop Literature Guide. Publisher: Shmoop University Inc., 2010. Print. Retrieved from <www.shmoop.com>

Valenti, Patricia Dunlavy. Understanding The Old Man and the Sea: A Student Casebook to Issues, Sources, and Historical Documents. Illustrated edition. Westport, CT: Greenwood Publishing Group, 2002. Print.

 

 

Sunday, October 6, 2013

The Old Man and The Sea


This paper is an article review from the novel “The Old Man and the sea”, and is written by Ernest Hemingway. This is a talk between the boy and the aging fisherman about going out sailing.
Manolin is the boy, and the fisherman is named Santiago. The boy was not allowed by his parents to go fishing with the old fisherman, as the old fisherman was considered unlucky. Still the boy decided to go sailing with the old man. They had conversation that evening, and were talking about the eyes of the successful fishermen. The boy exclaimed that though going deep into the fishing dries the eyes blind, but the eyes of the old man was perfectly fine at such old age. The old fisherman told the boy that the very next day he will be sailing far deep into the Gulf Stream, and will be catching a large marlin, that will ultimately remove the tag of unluckiness over from the old man.

They both then picked up the fishing gear from the boat, with old man carrying the mast on his shoulder, and boy carrying the wooden box, the gaff and harpoon. It was obvious that no one would steal the fishing gear from the old man, but still they decided to carry fishing gear to the old man’s shack, especially the gaff and a harpoon. Now begins the description of the old wooden house of the old fishermen, which was made up of tough bud shields of royal palm called guano. The shack was so small in size that the mast almost covered the entire room of the shack. The house was furnished barely with a bed, a table, a chair and a dirty place for cooking with charcoal.

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

The Old Man and The Sea

I prefar to read stories, because that easy to understand.The title is The Old Man and The Sea and it is a story about a poor old man who go fishing alone on his skiff. The book was wroten by Hemingway and printed by Charles Scribner's Son's in New York in 1952.

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Little Princes


He loved the children in little princes .He did not realized how much he missed them in the last year until that day. The Civil war in Nepal became worst after he left Nepal in 2005 during that year. Before four years was an incident that made all the international headlines King Gyanendra's murdered by his son with the queen and most of the royal family. In fall 2005 the new king stopped the war. The king wants the citizens end the war and surrender without any terms. The little boys at Little Princes read newspapers every morning about the killing in their country. They read about how the rebels killed civilians and police in their country. The rebels also destroyed civilian homes. If Maoists come they have guns, so they take children and you can’t do anything against them. The houses in Nepal have flat rooftops and they serve for a good reason. Families spend more time on the rooftops then in their homes because they do many things on there.

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Improving the way my writing sounds

Improving the way my writing sounds

Group 3: Grant Schow, Rakan Alolayani, Ahmed Akhwaher.

 

My Writing sounds choppy, it doesnt flow

  • Transitions and linking words
    • connect words, sentences and paragraphs.

    • show the relationship between ideas.
    • indicate the order of things and their relative importance.
    • indicate when something new is coming.
    • signal to readers how an idea fits in and where it's going.
    • show a change is coming, i.e. introduce a new ideas.
    • introduce a summary or a conclusion.


     

    Adding parallel structure

    • Thesis statement: A sentence in an essay, report, research paper, or speech that identifies the main idea and/or central purpose of the text.
    • Putting the thesis statement in parallel form emphasizes the main ideas into action and give your paper purpose.
    • Consider a topic such as "air pollution in Denver, Colorado, USA." If you want to write about the "causes of air pollution" (the controlling statement), your sentence at the end of the introduction could be "...so the objective of this paper is discuss the three main causes of air pollution in Denver which are (1) exhaust from automobiles, (2) soot from industry smokestacks, and (3) smoke from wood burning fireplaces." (Exhaust, soot, and smoke are all nouns which is parallel structure, but in this case, parallel structure is even more effective because the nouns are all followed by prepositional phrases.
    • http://eslbee.com/parallel_structure.htm
    • http://www.tutorfi.com/LanguageArts/howtoimproveessaywriting

      Fix Dangling and msiplaced modifiers

      • A Modifier:  is a descriptive word that describes a noun or sentence
      • Avoid misplacing modifying words
      • Example: ‘Sarah was voted prom queen.”
      • Correct Format: “The blond girl named Sarah, who was a foreign exchange student from England, quickly climbed the ladder of popularity during her junior year, smiling her way through cheerleading and an ASB presidency term she inched near the top and was a sure fit as junior prom queen.”

      Using Better Vocabulary

      • Using the same word over and over again?
        • Use a Thesaurus
      • Thesaurus
        • A thesaurus is a collection of synonyms (words which have basically the same meaning) and antonyms (words which have basically opposite meanings).
      • http://thesaurus.com/features/howtousethesaurus.html